Hollywood, CA – In a nod to both Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger, John McCain has gone Hollywood. With a deal secured to star in a upcoming sequel to Rambo, Rambo VI – Total Conquer, McCain will join the ranks of Republican actors. Though it might conflict with his duties as President, McCain said he can easily handle both and still answer the phone at 3 a.m.
“What is truly special about this,” said McCain, already ripped out for his new role, “is to be part of this special franchise. Film after film, Rambo wins a former war for America. I plan on taking the full enchilada like the hot tamale I am.”
The script is being hastily written by some hacks who actually still live in Hollywood. The basic plot is McCain singled handedly conquers the whole world, bringing peace on Earth.
“A peace with honor, at that,” McCain grinned out, oiling up a vast array of awe-inspiring weapons. “Sylvester Stallone not only endorsed me, but also gave me a chance to strap on the headband of John Rambo. Let’s roll.”
John McCain will star as McCainbo, as the elite solider is known in the screenplay, and the list of countries he brings the final peace solution to is impressive. Somalia, Indonesia, China, Russia all fall to the fury of McCainbo. He also ties up loose ends in Iraq, Afghanistan, Colombia and North Korea.
“And don’t forget Cuba,” said McCain, smearing war paint on, relishing in his role as the ultimate warrior. “And Iran, you are officially on notice. And so are you France.”
There are also rumors of McCain and Stallone are teaming up for yet another sequel called Rambos: Ageless Warrior, where the dynamic duo go back in time to not only destroy ancient Rome, but slay Alexander the Great himself.
Rambo VI – Total Conquer is set for release in Christmas, 2010 and will be the first movie rated MV, Mandatory Viewing.