Well, I have just had a heated debate. The important topic was WORST rock ‘n roll song of all time. The first issue was deciding what could be consider rock and what could not. Schmaltz is not rock by definition, so no Carpenters songs, no Capt. & Tennile–that means no Muskrat Love. We are not going there. If there is no electric guitar, it is probably not rock ‘n roll.
So I won’t bore you with our desideratum. That’s your part, below if you wish.
But here is the choice. Imagine a song that manages to be both pompous (rock star strut), stupid, ugly and demeaning all at the same time. A true harbinger for the death of rock ‘n roll. Ladies and Gentlemen, submitted for your consideration as the worst rock ‘n roll song of all time, “What’s Your Name” by Lynyrd Skynyrd:
Well, its 8 o’clock in Boise, Idaho
I’ll find my limo driver
Mister, take us to the show
I done made some plans for later on tonight
I’ll find a little queen
And I know I can treat her right.
[chorus]
What’s your name, little girl?
What’s your name?
Shootin’ you straight, little girl?
Won’t you do the same?.
Back at the hotel
Lord we got such a mess
It seems that one of the crew
Had a go with one of the guests, oh yes
Well, the police said we can’t drink in the bar
What a shame
Won’t you come upstairs girl
And have a drink of champagne
What’s your name, little girl?
What’s your name?
Shootin’ you straight, little girl?
For there ain’t no shame.
[chorus 2x]
9 o’clock the next day
And I’m ready to go
I got six hundred miles to ride
To do one more show, oh no
Can I get you a taxi home
It sure was grand
When I come back here next year
I wanna see you again
What was your name, little girl?
What’s your name?
Shootin’ you straight, little girl?
Well there ain’t no shame
What was your name, little girl?
What’s your name?
Shootin’ you straight, little girl?
Won’t you do the same?