Minneapolis

I look remarkably good for someone who’s 120+ years old, mostly blind, suffering from chronic anemia and fluid retention, and basically bionic on my left side.

You see, like Clemens, I still have my hair.

Now Sam attributed this to the fact that he washed it frequently with lye and lard soap, heavy on the lard, and didn’t rinse especially well. I, on the other hand, use Alberto VO-5 for both shampoo and conditioner and wash and condition first and rinse as the last act of my shower. This is magical thinking, in fact it’s all genetics and Richard, my Dad, is even older than I am and still has most of his. My Uncle was as bald as a billiard ball in his mid 30’s.

One likes to think they retain the Lynx-like grace and reflexes of their youth but it is not so. Let me tell you what it is like to fall when you are young and you are old. When you are young you twist and turn and grab and catch and, rarely, manage to change your center of gravity sufficiently that you don’t actually hit the ground. Of course this manifests itself later in sprains and strains and aches and pains from the body parts you’ve forced into unnatural positions.

When you are old it’s more like- oops I’m falling, I should do something about this, so that’s what the sidewalk looks like close up, did I break something or pass out?, how am I going to get up?

But you have all this ‘wisdom’.

I’ve done a lot of scary things, one that sticks in my mind is I had a big blowout skiing. When I woke up (yup, got that right) I was off trail with a tree at my left shoulder and a rock at my right. What did I do? Checked to make sure my glasses weren’t broken, found my missing ski, and skied the rest of the day. Nobody saw me fall but the tell is you have snow in places you shouldn’t. This was shortly after the Cates trial.

Anyway I’m slightly more than twice as old as Stephen Colbert so unlike Trump I’m flattered.

Otto Sanchez

Henry and Richard

I sing like that too.